So, we took the plunge and are in the midst of the home study process for our adoption. We are working on the literally hundreds of pages of instructions, paperwork, background checks, and required reading and training necessary for an international adoption. It really feels almost overwhelming when we see how far we have to go. I started looking yet again at the payments required to complete this process and thought, "What have we done?" Then, I remember this is God's call for our family and feel some peace. I can't blame all, or even most, of the recent turmoil on the adoption process.
I alluded to our foster care journey in my initial post. Let me give a little more background. Brad and I are licensed foster care parents, so we had completed the State required adoption paperwork and requirements back in the fall of 2011. When we'd been licensed almost a year, I started feeling a pull towards international. Nothing was happening on the foster-adopt front. We had no real prospects or communication with the state about potential matches. I started researching international adoption and really praying about it on a family vacation to Disney World in December 2012. Brad and I spent much of our travel time on the way home discussing it. Within an hour of arriving home, we got a message from our social worker that our home study had been pulled for a potential match. I mean, we haven't heard A THING from the state all year! So long story short, it took about a month with the Christmas holidays to get all the details about the child the state was considering for us. Unfortunately that match, a teenage girl, fell through when her current foster parents decided to pursue her adoption. So by mid-January we were back to square one yet again. Even though I still believed God lead us to foster adoption first, I really questioned our purpose in taking that road since all we'd done is hit multiple dead ends through failed potential matches and children we'd inquired about online.
We talk to some couples who have done international adoption or are in the process. I contacted a couple adoption agencies and we selected Lifeline. The SAME day we faxed in our initial application and paid the $250 application fee online, we get a call from DHR. Brad followed up and the social worker wanted to know if we would take a teenage boy for one night. We decided to help out "this one last time" as we had not told DHR of our new plan yet. The boy touched our hearts and the next morning, we told the social worker he could stay longer if needed. So, that afternoon, he moved in.
We don't know where this will lead or how long he will stay at this point. This is a new road for us because our goal has always been adoption and that is not necessarily the plan for this child due to his age. He is a good kid who's had a tough life. He is slowly warming up to our family. There are virtually no significant issues with him (which is a true rarity in foster care) except the biggest one of all for us. He is not a Christian. This has been the source of my stress for almost 2 weeks now. It isn't that he hasn't been exposed to a faith at all. He is deeply embedded in another faith (or cult as some assert) which teaches that all the differences between what we believe and what he believes is of Satan. I know that only God can do the work to change his mind, but I find myself constantly evaluating if I should be doing things differently or saying more to help him realize why Jesus is the one and only Savior. This is truly a stressful situation that has challenged me in ways I was not prepared.
Our plea at this point is to pray for this child, that he will come to know the Truth. That he will see Jesus in our family and want to know more. . . John 14:6 and John 14:10
Monday, March 25, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
The Beginning
Brad and I were the beginning of our 4 trees. We met in 1995, before we started our freshman year of college, and started dating February 14, 1996. Exactly 3.5 years later on August 14, 1999, we got married. In 2002, we welcomed our first "tree," Brandon. Lauren, our second "tree," arrived in 2005 and we wondered if maybe our family was complete. . . until we realized we were expecting Micah, our third "tree" who arrived in 2010. Our family was finally whole. . . or so we thought. In August 2011, Brad and I mutually discovered we'd been feeling a tugging in our hearts to add to our family through adoption. We prayed and agreed that this was God's call. Shortly after, we started inquiring about adoption through the foster care system. By the end of December 2011, we were licensed. We had 3 short-term placements over the next 7 months but we were still seeking a permanent adoptive placement. We inquired about several children we saw on Heart Gallery but nothing worked out. (More about our foster care journey later as there have been some updates since I originally wrote this in early March.)
After more prayer, discussion, research and even more prayer, here we are. We are embarking on a new path along our adoption journey. . . international adoption from Ethiopia. Lately, our youngest, Micah, has been telling me she is a big sister. I know she thinks (even with her tiny body) that she is "big" but perhaps she knows something I don't yet. It is possible right now that there is a child somewhere in the world who has been conceived or even born that is ours and has already made Micah a big sister.
Now to the story of the trees:
In 2010, I told Brad that I wanted him to create some artwork to cover a HUGE wall in our living room. So for Christmas that year, he gave me 3 paintings of our little "trees". A different tree represents each child, as explained in this poem Brad wrote:
Green. Waxy leaves never
Dampen until they fall in heaps
Below its pinnacle steep
In the sky.
On the knowledge of the world
And ever spirals about, unfurled
With more and more leaves that fall
And litter the ground with all
Of God's blessings to us.
The rainfall dripping instead
Of gushing on your head
As one rests in its shadow.
Her feelings and her love.
Her gentility is far above
Her years and her smile lights
Up the darker, too-manly corners of her father, right
Up to the top of his soul, and he is thankful.
Clothes that God allows it to wear
A few weeks each year,
Before He strips it bare with sleep.
The glory of God's laugh
When He pours out His sweet cup on those who have
Counted their blessings and thought
They were done. For these, God has bought
The fiery brilliance of being surprised by joy.
Brandon is our magnolia. When he was born, our house (at the time) had 3 large magnolia trees in the yard. Micah is our maple. Brad had her sugar maple tree planted in our new home's front yard before I came home from the hospital after delivering Micah. Lauren is our ginkgo. A couple weeks ago, we had a ginkgo tree planted for her.
This brings us to our fourth tree. We do not yet know about this tree, but it has a home in both our hearts and our yard. Our family strives together, looking forward to how and where God plants it.
Just tonight (March 6, 2013), Brad and I were discussing names for our journal/blog. As the conversation turned to "trees," Brad recalled a song he had heard recently. He only remembered that it was about trees, but when I read the lyrics, this "coincidence" quickly became an affirmation of this next step in our search. My family and friends know that I don't believe in "coincidences" because with God there is no such thing. After reading these lyrics, we agreed that our journal/blog should rightly be named "Our Four Trees".
Planting Trees by Andrew Peterson
We chose the spot, we dug the hole
We laid the maples in the ground to have and hold
As Autumn falls to Winters sleep
We pray that somehow in the Spring
The roots grow deep
And many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn
He took a plane to Africa
He gathered up into his arms
An orphan son
So many years from now
Long after we are gone
This tree will spread its branches out
And bless the dawn
So sit down and write that letter
Sign up and join the fight
Sink in to all that matters
Step out into the light
Let go of all that's passing
Lift up the least of these
Lean into something lasting
Planting trees
She rises up as morning breaks
She moves among these rooms alone
Before we wake
And her heart is so full; it overflows
She waters us with love and the children grow
So many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless someone
After more prayer, discussion, research and even more prayer, here we are. We are embarking on a new path along our adoption journey. . . international adoption from Ethiopia. Lately, our youngest, Micah, has been telling me she is a big sister. I know she thinks (even with her tiny body) that she is "big" but perhaps she knows something I don't yet. It is possible right now that there is a child somewhere in the world who has been conceived or even born that is ours and has already made Micah a big sister.
Now to the story of the trees:
In 2010, I told Brad that I wanted him to create some artwork to cover a HUGE wall in our living room. So for Christmas that year, he gave me 3 paintings of our little "trees". A different tree represents each child, as explained in this poem Brad wrote:
TREES
The first tree
is hearty and everGreen. Waxy leaves never
Dampen until they fall in heaps
Below its pinnacle steep
In the sky.
The boy is as
such, ever alive
Growing and
sprouting - he thrivesOn the knowledge of the world
And ever spirals about, unfurled
With more and more leaves that fall
And litter the ground with all
Of God's blessings to us.
The second tree
is soft and sweet
With arms all
about that keepThe rainfall dripping instead
Of gushing on your head
As one rests in its shadow.
The girl is as
such, fair
And gauzy,
translucently she wearsHer feelings and her love.
Her gentility is far above
Her years and her smile lights
Up the darker, too-manly corners of her father, right
Up to the top of his soul, and he is thankful.
The third tree
is young, yet vivid
Even fiery, with
its sharp and splendidClothes that God allows it to wear
A few weeks each year,
Before He strips it bare with sleep.
The little girl
is as such, small
Immature, yet
endowed with allThe glory of God's laugh
When He pours out His sweet cup on those who have
Counted their blessings and thought
They were done. For these, God has bought
The fiery brilliance of being surprised by joy.
Brandon is our magnolia. When he was born, our house (at the time) had 3 large magnolia trees in the yard. Micah is our maple. Brad had her sugar maple tree planted in our new home's front yard before I came home from the hospital after delivering Micah. Lauren is our ginkgo. A couple weeks ago, we had a ginkgo tree planted for her.
This brings us to our fourth tree. We do not yet know about this tree, but it has a home in both our hearts and our yard. Our family strives together, looking forward to how and where God plants it.
Just tonight (March 6, 2013), Brad and I were discussing names for our journal/blog. As the conversation turned to "trees," Brad recalled a song he had heard recently. He only remembered that it was about trees, but when I read the lyrics, this "coincidence" quickly became an affirmation of this next step in our search. My family and friends know that I don't believe in "coincidences" because with God there is no such thing. After reading these lyrics, we agreed that our journal/blog should rightly be named "Our Four Trees".
Planting Trees by Andrew Peterson
We chose the spot, we dug the hole
We laid the maples in the ground to have and hold
As Autumn falls to Winters sleep
We pray that somehow in the Spring
The roots grow deep
And many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn
He took a plane to Africa
He gathered up into his arms
An orphan son
So many years from now
Long after we are gone
This tree will spread its branches out
And bless the dawn
So sit down and write that letter
Sign up and join the fight
Sink in to all that matters
Step out into the light
Let go of all that's passing
Lift up the least of these
Lean into something lasting
Planting trees
She rises up as morning breaks
She moves among these rooms alone
Before we wake
And her heart is so full; it overflows
She waters us with love and the children grow
So many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless someone
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