Nationality and Race

Recently when completing a form for Micah’s preschool, there was a question that asked “Nationality?”  According to dictionary.com, this word means “the status of belonging to a particular nation, whether by birth or naturalization.”  I was thinking of how I would answer this question about our adopted child one day.  Our adopted child will become an American citizen upon landing on U.S. soil, so that would make him or her American.  But that sort of neglects a large part of his or her heritage, seeing as the child was literally born in Ethiopia.  I would venture to guess that virtually all the children attending this preschool are American, either by birth or naturalization.  So why even ask one’s nationality? 

That brings me to the topic of race.  Am I the only person who gets a little confused?  Do I say Caucasian?  White?  Of European descent?  When I looked up the meaning of the word, it was just as vague.  According to dictionary.com, “race” means:

1.  a group of persons related by common descent or heredity.

 

2. a population so related.

3. Anthropology .
     a. any of the traditional divisions of humankind, the commonest being the Caucasian, Mongoloid, and Negro, characterized by supposedly distinctive and universal physical characteristics: no longer in technical use.
     b. an arbitrary classification of modern humans, sometimes, especially formerly, based on any or a combination of various physical characteristics, as skin color, facial form, or eye shape, and now frequently based on such genetic markers as blood groups.
     c. a human population partially isolated reproductively from other populations, whose members share a greater degree of physical and genetic similarity with one another than with other humans.

4. a group of tribes or peoples forming an ethnic stock: the Slavic race.

5. any people united by common history, language, cultural traits, etc.: the Dutch race

 

Ummm. . .so how do I answer again?  The definition actually includes the word arbitrary.  That means “contingent on one’s discretion.”  So basically, one’s race can be totally whatever group he or she wishes to associate with.  If I am confused, and I look am a typical, white girl, I can’t imagine how hard this question is for someone who is biracial.  They usually only let you bubble in one answer.  Then again, most of us are actually biracial since there aren’t many “purebred” humans anymore (and if you don't believe me, research your family's genealogy).

The thought has occurred to Brad and I that we will likely have some combination of black, white, and biracial grandchildren one day.  We went to Spring Park a few weeks ago and there was a family reunion celebrating at one of the pavilions.  I had this image in my head of our family reunion one day and it made me smile, particularly how perplexed it would make people when they saw all these different colored people running around in “Bernard Family Reunion” T-shirts.

 I always get the feeling that when race is asked, they really just want to know your skin color.  Anyone besides me think that?  Maybe they just want to know if two women walk into the room, and they know my “race,” they will know which one I am.

Micah loves to sing “Jesus Loves the Little Children.”  Remember the part in the song when it says, “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world”?  Not to go off on a tangent, but Micah actually changes the words to “Red and blue and black and white…” which causes Brandon to giggle at the idea of a blue person.  Micah doesn’t realize she has the words wrong (and I won’t tell her because I love her version) so when his laugh interrupts her, she pouts, “Now I have to start over again!” and the whole process repeats itself again and again.  My fingers and toes actually turn blue in the winter with my poor circulation so I would argue a person can be blue. . . Smurfs are blue, right?

Anyway, the Nationality question got me thinking about all of this.  I'm not sure now if I put American, Caucasian, or white, though I should have just answered “Human.”

I think I would like it if instead they asked Red? Yellow? Black? White? . . .and maybe throw in a Pink? Brown? Other? and Blue?, too!

Doubt and Doing

The fire alarm is screaming, smoke pours from every fenestration, emergency vehicles speed to the site...and half the people in the building are trapped.  Nobody cries for help, because nobody survived.

All this occurs about once a month in my world, just before I wake in a cold sweat, have a 10 second freak out, then rush to work as quickly as possible to check the building code for life safety items I may have left out from our latest building design.  Thanks be to God, nothing like this has ever happened, and honestly, I've never made a mistake on life safety that could've allowed a tragedy such as this to happen.

So why the worry?  The answer is simple: Doubt.

I feel doubt all the time.  I doubt my aptitude as an architect, my ability as a parent, the intent of my deeds, and even (I admit it) the power and love of my God.  The more I tend to look inside myself, the more I see myself for (were it not for God) who I really am, and "how" I really am.  I am not good enough...at anything.  In these times, doubt can pour into me like water through a scrim. 

At times, this is how I feel, but thank God our true feelings do not a Truth make.

There are other times, of course, when the scrim holds more tightly, but still the water drips.  I experienced this feeling several times during the past 2 weeks.  It last happened as I stood on stage, performing in the Tennessee Valley Art Association's Summerstock version of "Les Miserables".  While singing as a part of the ensemble, and surrounded by ridiculously talented musicians, I found myself wondering, "What am I doing here?".  The fact that I was there in the midst of these people made me doubt my own ability at all.

"Was I chosen as a favor to someone else?"
"Did they feel sorry for me?"
"Are all these people laughing at me?" 

These were honestly the thoughts going through my head.  The questions also ring out concerning more important things.

"Are you doing this adoption thing just to impress your friends?"
"Can you really be a good parent to an Ethiopian?"
"Are you sure this is the best use of your money?"

Here's the catch.  Whether at work, play, parenting, faith, or adoption, we usually doubt what we are ACTUALLY DOING.  While I was performing, I was doubting myself.  While I parent, I doubt myself.  While I am in the throws of adoption, I doubt myself.  While I walk with God, I doubt us both.  This is where "how I feel" collides with what is true.  The truth is that God, through His grace, gives us the ability to do anything good at all.

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10)  We are given the strength to live out God's purpose in our lives as we walk, not just before we start.  This is why Jesus is living water, rather than a stagnant cistern (Jeremiah 2:13).  Faith is not lived by how we feel, yea how we doubt.  It is lived by what we KNOW.  Maybe Paul states it better.

"Do I make my plans according to the flesh, ready to say "Yes, yes" and "No, no" at the same time?  As surely as God is faithful, our word to you has not been Yes and No.  For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you...was not Yes and No, but in Him it is always Yes.  For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him.  That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory." (2 Corinthians 1:17-20)

In the face of all my doubts, these are the things I KNOW.

"By God's grace, I lived out a dream by performing in "Les Miserables"
"Because of Him, our children will turn out ok"
"By His power, our adoption will be how and when it should be"

...and God, please, no dreams of burning buildings.

Why Ethiopia?

I imagine people wonder how adoptive parents choose how they are going to adopt: domestically (privately or through foster care) or internationally.  When Brad and I first felt called to adoption, we pursued adopting a waiting child in the foster care system.  Every system has its pros and cons, but after we'd been licensed about a year, I started feeling a call towards international.  We knew a few people who had adopted internationally or were in the process.  Honestly, we thought adopting through the state would be quickest way to get our newest family member, but we started realizing that isn't necessarily the case.  We were truly touched by the foster children we were blessed to have in our home and our experiences have helped equip us for our upcoming adoption, but we also felt like one door after another closed for us in terms of finding a child through the foster system.  We started praying more about God's will for our family and still felt our call was to adopt.  Once we settled on international adoption, it was time to decide where.  After praying and researching our options (every country has different requirements), we decided Ethiopia was our call.  While we are still learning about Ethiopia and the people and culture, it is heartbreaking and startling how desperate the circumstances are there, especially for the least of these: the orphaned children.

According to a survey by UNICEF in 2011 (most of these numbers have shown great improvement in the past 10+ years):

• 1/11 children die before age 5
• 90% of the population doesn't treat their drinking water and in rural areas, 98.3% don't have access to drinking water on the premises, with over 62% having to travel 30 minutes or more to get water
• 95.2% in rural areas have no electricity
• 47% of the population is under 15 years old
• 19% of households have foster children and 12% have orphans (lost one or both parents)
• 52% of females and 38% of males NEVER went to school
• Literacy rates: 38% of females and 65% of males
• 27% of children aged 5-14 have been involved in child labor and <2% were paid
• Median age of 1st marriage: 16.5 years old for females and 23.1 years old for males
• Women average 4.8 births
• 77% of married women have the potential for a high risk birth
• Only 34% of women received prenatal care; 10% of births are delivered by a skilled provider
• 21% of newborns were classified as "very small" and 9% as "small" (only 5% are weighed)
• Just 24% of children 12-23 months old are fully vaccinated
• In children under age 5, 44% are stunted (too short for age), 10% are wasted (too thin for height) and 29% are underweight (too thin for age)
• 4.6 million children have lost one or both birth parents (total population is 73.8 million)

So if you were wondering why Ethiopia, I would ask, why not?

Psalm 68:5-6 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families. . .