The Latest

We will find out next Monday what our new wait list number is.  We know our agency has had some waiting children referrals, but there were probably not any infant referrals (which is what most people ahead of us on the list are approved to get).  We are not anticipating a big jump in our number, but we can always hope!

We did get the official word this month that our home study update (done in early December at our request) has been approved by our agency.  Let me explain!  Last summer, our agency started a "push" to encourage those adopting to consider waiting children.  The orphanages are overloaded with children, but one reason people have to wait so long for a referral is that most want an infant/toddler.  Most of the children in the orphanages fit into one or more of the following categories:medical issues (most often HIV+), older children, or part of a sibling group.  When Brad and I began our adoption journey in foster care, we actually expected to adopt an older child.  We were approved for up to 2 children and our age range was up to 16 years old (by our choice).  We honestly felt a call to adopt and didn't want to "limit" our family to a child who was an ideal match simply because he or she was older.  I actually found a 14 year old boy on the Alabama waiting child list who sounded like a good match for our family, but by the time we were far enough into the process to learn more about him, he was already matched with another family.  Our biggest hesitation with a child from Ethiopia was the additional adjustments that would need to be made learning a new language and catching up in school.  Because we both work, staying home for prolonged periods to deal with these adjustments is not an option for us currently. 

When our agency started talking more about older children, I was able to read about the experiences of several families who had adopted older children.  I was able to see how they had dealt with some of our concerns, such as the language barrier and education.  By no means am I saying an older child will be "easier" because it most likely will not be.  But I really felt a call to consider an older child.  Brad and I began discussing and praying about it.  This was all occurring while we waited for weeks for our immigration approval to come back.  Unfortunately, our immigration approval specifically matched our home study at the time, which was approval for us to adopt 1 healthy child from Ethiopia aged 0-3 years.  So when our immigration approval finally came back, we spoke with our case worker about mailing our dossier to be authenticated (sent to Ethiopia to put us on the waiting list).  During the conversation she actually asked about our current child parameters and if we had considered making any changes.  We told her what we'd been considering. 

That discussion took place in October.  The first week in December we had another meeting with our social worker to do an amendment to our home study.  We discussed with her all the additional difficulties of bringing home 2 children versus 1 as well as other things to consider with adopting an older child.  Our agency had become very cautious about approving families for multiple children due to the added difficulties that come with that.  She wasn't able to scare us off (ha!), and we felt we had carefully considered this decision and how we would handle different scenarios.  Mostly, we felt this was something God was calling us to open ourselves up to.  So in January we got the official approval from our agency to allow us to adopt a sibling group of 2, with the first child being aged 0-3 years and the second child aged 0-8.  After much consideration, we decided that it would be best to keep Brandon as our oldest child.  We also felt like a younger school-aged child would be more reasonable for our family situation in terms of language barriers and schooling. Any referral we get must meet the first child criteria, meaning we could still get a referral for only one child aged 0-3 or we could get a referral for 2 children.  We are excited to see what God has in store for us!

While referrals are currently REALLY slow, we have been reassured that adoptions are continuing in Ethiopia.  Due to a need to ensure all adoptions are ethical, things are taking a lot longer right now.  So while we could wait quite a while for a referral, like a couple years (I don't want to even think about longer than that), our new parameters also make us a little more unique and could result in a quicker referral.  Basically, our referral timeline is even more unpredictable but in a good way.  A second child will add to our adoption expenses, among those being a second referral fee and additional travel expenses.

We are now updating our I-600 with our new parameters, but this doesn't affect our wait list number.  My game plan is to stay busy (so I don't think about the waiting) and enjoy my family.  I alternate between letting it all go and leaving it in God's hands to my heart aching for my child(ren) who I don't have here with me.  The busier I stay, the less I tend to think about our adoption.  Isn't it sad that I have to try not to think about my own (unknown) children?  This isn't about wanting more kids because it would have been easier for me to birth another child (even though one of us is currently sterile) than it is to adopt a child.  Sometimes I think it may never happen and I try to convince myself to be content in just following God's call for my life.  I'll just end this post by asking that you keep praying!

Melkam Gena! (Ethiopian Merry Christmas)

Today is Christmas in Ethiopia so we had a mini celebration.  We very much Americanized it, but we did the best we could with our current resources.

The traditional meal consists of doro wat (spicy chicken stew) with injera (flat bread used to scoop up the wat).  So our substitution was Brunswick stew with naan bread.  We ate it with hot chocolate (in place of coffee).

For dessert, we had a traditional snack food in Ethiopia: popcorn!

 

 

Gifts are not a big part of Christmas in Ethiopia and if given, are typically clothes.  Lucky for me, the Disney shirts I ordered for our upcoming trip arrived the day before, so we presented them to the kids after dinner.  We hope to eat at a traditional Ethiopian restaurant sometime this year (requiring a trip to either Nashville or Atlanta).

Soon I hope to try a recipe I found recently for Ethiopian spiced honey bread.  It has ingredients I can purchase in our stores and I hear it is wonderful!

 

Merry Christmas (round 2)!

New Year News

We are now almost a week into 2014.  I have been reflecting on the past year and looking forward to the upcoming new one.  I have been setting goals for myself, in many different areas including personal, spiritual, financial, relationship, etc.  I have some things I would like to do/accomplish in the upcoming year and my biggest prayer would be that we would receive a referral.  This folks, would be a miracle, but I hear God is in the business of making miracles so maybe He has one in store for us soon.

We got our monthly update from our agency.  We knew there had been 3 referrals based on our agency's report.  There are many factors that come into play but we were still a little disappointed when we were told our current number is:

 

One major change that occurred during the past month is our referring agency is now restricting us from reporting any case-specific details about our adoption on any public forum.  That includes our wait list number.  I have made this blog private so I can still give more specific updates and to keep our prior posts in compliance with the new privacy policy.  Please do NOT post any information revealed on this blog on Facebook!

There has been a lot of negative talk about international adoption in Ethiopia lately.  If there is a horror story, they have heard it.  This is a large part of why we have been asked to limit the information we give about our adoption process online.  We have to help protect the future for adoptions in Ethiopia.  The good news is that we have been told that the regional courts have finally, after several months of nothing, started approving children to be referred for adoption.  Our agency is hopeful that they will be able to start issuing regular referrals again.

We are planning a mini celebration for Ethiopia's Christmas, which is January 7.  We plan to simulate their traditional meal with Brunswick stew and naan bread.  I'm sure it is a far cry from the real thing, but since we haven't been to an Ethiopian restaurant to try their food, I wouldn't know the difference.  It is very difficult to get some of their spices and the flour used in their bread anyway.  Brandon would love eating in Ethiopia because they do not use utensils!  Their bread, called injera, is flat and used to scoop up the food for eating.  Here is a little more information about Ethiopian Christmas:
http://www.whychristmas.com/cultures/ethiopia.shtml

MERRY (ETHIOPIAN) CHRISTMAS!