Why Ethiopia?

I imagine people wonder how adoptive parents choose how they are going to adopt: domestically (privately or through foster care) or internationally.  When Brad and I first felt called to adoption, we pursued adopting a waiting child in the foster care system.  Every system has its pros and cons, but after we'd been licensed about a year, I started feeling a call towards international.  We knew a few people who had adopted internationally or were in the process.  Honestly, we thought adopting through the state would be quickest way to get our newest family member, but we started realizing that isn't necessarily the case.  We were truly touched by the foster children we were blessed to have in our home and our experiences have helped equip us for our upcoming adoption, but we also felt like one door after another closed for us in terms of finding a child through the foster system.  We started praying more about God's will for our family and still felt our call was to adopt.  Once we settled on international adoption, it was time to decide where.  After praying and researching our options (every country has different requirements), we decided Ethiopia was our call.  While we are still learning about Ethiopia and the people and culture, it is heartbreaking and startling how desperate the circumstances are there, especially for the least of these: the orphaned children.

According to a survey by UNICEF in 2011 (most of these numbers have shown great improvement in the past 10+ years):

• 1/11 children die before age 5
• 90% of the population doesn't treat their drinking water and in rural areas, 98.3% don't have access to drinking water on the premises, with over 62% having to travel 30 minutes or more to get water
• 95.2% in rural areas have no electricity
• 47% of the population is under 15 years old
• 19% of households have foster children and 12% have orphans (lost one or both parents)
• 52% of females and 38% of males NEVER went to school
• Literacy rates: 38% of females and 65% of males
• 27% of children aged 5-14 have been involved in child labor and <2% were paid
• Median age of 1st marriage: 16.5 years old for females and 23.1 years old for males
• Women average 4.8 births
• 77% of married women have the potential for a high risk birth
• Only 34% of women received prenatal care; 10% of births are delivered by a skilled provider
• 21% of newborns were classified as "very small" and 9% as "small" (only 5% are weighed)
• Just 24% of children 12-23 months old are fully vaccinated
• In children under age 5, 44% are stunted (too short for age), 10% are wasted (too thin for height) and 29% are underweight (too thin for age)
• 4.6 million children have lost one or both birth parents (total population is 73.8 million)

So if you were wondering why Ethiopia, I would ask, why not?

Psalm 68:5-6 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families. . .

Like a Lion

As I mentioned on a previous post, Micah has been calling her new baby sister, which she has assured us that God has promised her, Ariel.  Ariel happens to mean "Lion of God."  Lions are significant to us, not only because of their prevalence in Africa, but also because we love the song, "Like a Lion," and Micah was singing that song practically as soon as she could talk.

Recently friend posted a link to another blog, that described another adoption story that shared a significance with "Like a Lion."

http://radarradio.net/blog/stuffed-lions-the-bashtas-adoption-story

I thought it was really cool, and I can't wait to see how God weaves our adoption story.  I am so excited to meet the newest member of our family, and I have to keep telling myself that it will all happen in God's perfect timing. . . for us and for the child He has already chosen for our family.

What's Next:
Our next task is submit an I-600 form, which is required for international adoptions.  This will also require us to be fingerprinted again for the Department of Homeland Security and the process/approval is estimated to take 3 months.  While we wait on that, we will be assembling the final documents needed for our dossier, which is the packet of paperwork that will be sent to Ethiopia.  At that point, we will be put on a wait list for our child.  We are being told the wait from that point is approximately 18 months to receive a match.  We are ready to "hurry up and wait" at this point.  Brad said we may not have any friends left by the time we get done asking people to write recommendations, notarizing tons of forms, and calling in favors to get all these random documents from (to name a few): the police station, the bank, our health insurance company, and the circuit clerk in 3 different states.  Please pray that this next phase goes smoothly for us!

Micah's prayers:
Micah often volunteers to say prayers for the family at night before bedtime.  She is so sweet (and creative) with her prayers.  They always take a similar format, "Thank you for my mommy, thank you for my daddy, thank you for Sissy and Bubby, thank you for my baby brother or my baby sister in Epiopia (how she says it), thank you for Mommy's flowers (my rose bushes), thank you for the big tree and the little tree (in our front yard), thank you for my school, thank you for chapel, thank you for learning about God in chapel, thank you for going to Disney World, in Jesus' name, A-MEN!"

Waiting and Hoping. . .

We are getting close to completing our home study!  We have one more visit with our social worker and our medical physicals are all scheduled within the next week.  We only lack a couple other forms, such as our employment verification and some reference letters (you know who you are) to finishing.  From what we've been told, once our home study is complete and approved, we will begin working on gathering any additional paperwork needed for our dossier, which is the packet of information that will be sent to Ethiopia.

On the home front, our time as foster parents has come to a close.  It was no secret that our reason for getting licensed for foster care was to allow us to adopt a child who could not be reunited with family.  After living with us for 3 months, our foster teen (sorry for the vague name but trying to protect his anonymity) is being moved to another living situation.  We have prayed extensively and feel at peace that we did all we could to show him the joy in having a relationship with Jesus and all He has done in our lives and our family.  This decision was tough for us because we hoped our teen would become a permanent member of our family, but he made it clear over the 3 months he was with us that he was not interested.  The biggest disconnect was our differences in religious beliefs, which created an ever-growing chasm in our everyday lives.  We will continue to pray for him and he will forever have a piece of our hearts, just as we have for the other children we have met through the foster care system.

We do hope and plan to stay involved in advocating for foster children but will not continue to pursue adoption through foster care.  Please pray for all the children who are in foster care and for all those involved in the foster care system.  Even if being a foster parent is not a calling or possibility for you, there are many other ways people can get involved, such as becoming a CASA (court-appointed special advocate) or a mentor, or even donating items for foster children, such as clothing, toiletries, and toys.  One thing that struck us from our experiences, is these children, who are your neighbors, your children's classmates, or your child's T-ball teammates, have not gotten to experience many little things in life, such as a trip to the zoo or the movies, going out to eat in a restaurant, or picking out an outfit in a store.  It is amazing how many things we take for granted that these children are missing out on.  If you are interested, here are some links with ways you can get involved:

http://www.casaforchildren.org/site/c.mtJSJ7MPIsE/b.5301309/k.9D58/Volunteering.htm

http://dhr.alabama.gov/services/Foster_Care/Intro_Foster_Care.aspx

Please keep praying for our family.  We often feel weary on this journey, which for us is approaching 2 years since we started praying about and pursuing adoption.  We likely have a LONG wait ahead of us to complete our family, but we trust it will be worth all the heartache in the end.

But hope that is seen is no hope at all.  Who hopes for what he already has?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.   --Romans 8:24-25

Names

What is the story behind your name? 

Ask your parents one day, and listen to the painstaking detail they took to give you your name.  Even better, ask the parents of an unborn baby.  It's a good way to fill about 15 minutes of time, if you ever get the chance.  Just use those simple words, "Have you thought about a name?"  Try it sometime and see how important our names are.

Speaking of Solomon's temple, God told the people of Israel, "My Name shall be there" (1 Kings 8:29).  He told Moses in Exodus 6, "I am the LORD.  I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob as God Almighty, but by my name the LORD I did not make myself known to them".  He ws the same God to the patriarchs, but when the time was right, He revealed to His people His Name.  Doesn't this make all the difference?  Names breadth, depth, meaning, and (most importantly) personhood.  We are not just made, loved, saved, and redeemed by a power, or even an entity.  Our God is a person (3, to be precise).  This intimacy of the knowledge of knowing who God is holds the key to us know who we are, and who we are to become.  "Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD...." (Hosea 6:3)

Names are important to God.  Now that we are praying, thinking, talking (and blogging!) about our future new addition, we wanted to come up with some sort of name or nickname so we would not have to constantly refer to our child as "he or she" or "it" or "the child/baby."  At this point our home study states we are seeking to be matched with a healthy 0-3 year-old boy or girl.  We figured since we didn't "choose" the genders of our biological children, we wouldn't do it with our adopted one either, and age-wise we have decided to maintain our current birth order.  When we are matched with our child, he or she will already have a given name, which we can choose to keep, incorporate as a middle name, or replace with our chosen name.  We will probably wait and see what the given name is of our child before making a final decision about what our child will be called.  Don't forget that God was pleased to change the names of some of his special children (Abram, Sarai, Jacob, Simon, Saul)! In the meantime, we have been considering possible names, just like we did when we found out we were expecting our biological children.

Micah is confident that her new sibling will be a girl and her name will be Ariel.  As a matter of fact, she tells us multiple times a day that God has told her she will have a baby sister named Ariel.  She has been consistently telling us this for weeks now.  After a trip to Disney World in December, we assumed she got the name from the princess of the sea.  The name Ariel didn't really appeal to us, so we didn't think much of it at first.  About two months ago I decided to humor her and look up the meaning of the name.  I like names that have significance of some sort (outside the realm of Disney).  So, I looked up the name and this is what I found: Ariel is a Hebrew name meaning "Lion of God."  What a strong name for a strong child who has endured the circumstances that led to her being an orphan, whatever those might be.  Jesus is referred to as the Lion of Judah in the Bible.  Ethiopia happens to be one of the top 7 countries (all in Africa) believed have the most lions living in the wild.  Ariel is also another name for the holy city of Jeruselum as mentioned in Isaiah 29:1 (Woe to you, Ariel, Ariel, the city where David settled!)  Obviously we cannot deny the significance of this name and we have decided if Micah does get her baby sister, she will have to be named Ariel!

We have chosen Simon as our boy name for the multiple significant (to us) Biblical references.  The Hebrew name means "he who hears."  Simeon (another form of Simon) was one of the 12 tribes of Israel, as well as the voice of the beautiful words, "For my eyes have seen your salvation...." in Luke 2:30.  My favorite disciple was Simon (Peter), who was bold and passionate.  Whatever he did, he did it whole-heartedly, and he lived and died for Christ.  What initially gave us the idea of the name Simon occurred when our family watched "The Bible" on the History Channel in the weeks leading up to Easter.  After traveling hundreds of miles for Passover, Simon of Cyrene (located in Africa) was forced to help Jesus carry the cross, which would have made him unclean to take part in Passover.  It is no doubt that his experience had a profound impact on him.  Simon is specifically mentioned to have two sons, Rufus and Alexander, which is significant because typically men were identified by their fathers, not their sons.  It is speculated that at the time the gospel was written, the reader would have been familiar with Rufus and Alexander.  Paul mentions a missionary named Rufus in Romans, and it is believed that this may be Simon of Cyrene's son.  Either way, the significance of Simon of Cyrene Biblically is evident by the fact he was mentioned and identified by name.

God already knows the name of our fourth tree.  He has planned within His perfect purpose who it will be, when it will be, and how it will be.  We do not know these details yet, but we do know that the One whose Name is above all names does.  We eagerly wait His gift. Please pray for our adoption journey and for Simon/Ariel!  We can't wait to meet you!

Staring in the Mirror

I’m a bit weird. Really.

Have you ever really thought about yourself?  Who are you, really?  If not, here’s an exercise.

 Tomorrow morning, as you approach the mirror, like you do every day, look back into the eyes there.  Usually when we use a mirror, we are looking only at hair, teeth, or clothes.  Am I right?  Instead of seeing the details, I challenge you to consider the person in your mirror.  When others think of (your name here), this is the face they see.  Those are the eyes they consider when they hear your name, or answer your call, or respond to you on Facebook.  This is your body, your shell…but is it “you”?  Now just sit and look for a while, taking in that “you” are indeed this figure in your mirror.  It’s weird, I know.  It’s also kind of freaky if you consider too long.  It’s like you’re trapped in this body, good or bad, but the point is this; it’s not really “you”.

Emily and I took the kids to my step-grandmother’s visitation tonight and we discussed “where” she is now.  She was not still in her body, that too small shell that lay in the casket before us.  So where is she?  Micah kept asking whether she was just asleep, and when she’d wake up, etc.  Of course, we tried to explain that our bodies are not really who we are, but rather that they hold our souls, until God takes them to Himself (or otherwise).

 Here’s the point; thinking about yourself is hard.  Trying to tell someone who the real “you” is takes a lot of work  In the adoption process, they make you do it all the time!

Honestly, how many of us have written an autobiography?  How many of us have taken a picture of each room in our house and sent them to a stranger?  How many of us have filled out a family tree?  How many of us (you’ll love this one) have drawn a “Community Tree”, illustrating the relationships in our lives, while identifying certain people with “!” and other with “X”.  Yeah, I figured on that last one.

Here are some of the questions we’ve come across.

 

          “Does my spouse want this adoption as much as I do?  Explain.”

          “Do your parents support you in this process?  Elaborate”

          “Do you feel like a rescuer?  Why or why not”

          “Name some of your strengths and weaknesses. Explain.”

          “Will you feel embarrassed with a child of a different race? Explain.”

          “Would you ever leave your spouse or consider divorce? Why?”

 

 It gets overwhelming at times, and we have just started!  I’ve had to tell more about myself in the past few months than I ever have in my life, and we’ve had two house closings in the past 10 years!  This is one thing I’ve learned from the process; the more you write, the more you can describe yourself.  Those “Explain”s after every question become annoying, but our adoption agency is tediously forcing us to drag ourselves out of ourselves (if that makes any sense).  That same agency is going to read all the stuff I write about myself and those around me, and tell me whether they believe me enough to allow a child from across the globe to come live at my house.  Using only a few pictures, and enormous piles of writing, I have to actually make them believe my testimony about myself.

I’m reminded of a couple of scriptures.

           “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen being understood form what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” – Romans 1:20

 God has given us a picture of Himself.  The world, indeed the universe, is simple (if that’s possible) a testimony of God’s greatness.  Why did God make the stars of the constellation Orion, which are light years apart, line up to form the figure of a man?  Why did God give us eyes that can literally see light years away, even if we can’t read a billboard 100 yards in front of us?  Why did God create such a vast place as our universe, where there’s so much “wasted space”?  Part of the reason is that God wanted to show us all as much of Himself as possible.  God is huge, vast, full of energy, and the one whose hand flung this uncountable number of stars into their exact places.

           “When the LORD finished speaking to Moses on Mount Sinai, he game him       the two tables of the Testimony, the tablets of stone inscribed by the finger    of God” – Exodus 31:19

 God has written about Himself.  This verse closes 11 entire chapters of God’s instructions for His people, and this didn’t even really include the entire Law, which He would give soon later.  Why did He write so much?  Why did He get so detailed?  Part of the reason is that God wanted to show Moses as much of Himself as possible.  God is complex,  precise, detailed, unflinchingly holy, and absolutely perfect.  The Law itself speaks to God’ view of Himself, and the impossibility of “being perfect as He is perfect”.

God gives us copious amounts of writing about Himself, and God has given us copious amounts pictures of Himself.  These two come together in the man Jesus Christ.

 He is the picture of God.

           “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.” – Colossians 1:15

 He is the writing of God.

           “In the beginning was the Word, and Word was with God, and the Word was God” – John 1:1

This is the testimony that God gives of Himself, and I believe it.  I’ll be praying that my (our) testimony is deemed believable until God reveals His word in us, and in our fourth tree.

So who are you?  Have fun staring in that mirror….

From the Mouths of Babes

Tonight when I was in the car taking Micah to dance class, we were just talking.  She says some thought-provoking things sometimes, so I just threw it out there and said, "Micah, how do we teach T about Jesus?"  She answered with, "What do you mean?"  And I responded, "T doesn't know Jesus."  Her answer was simply, "Jesus is God."

I was speechless because that pretty much summed it up.  T has been attending a Jehovah's Witness church (or Kingdom Hall as they call it).  After my extensive research on their beliefs, Micah's statement was the biggest chasm between their beliefs and Christianity.  They do not believe Jesus is God.

So on the way home, with both girls in the car, we were talking about Jesus again (one of Micah's favorite topics).  She commented how Jesus died on the cross to "give us" (forgive us) our sins.  That rolled into a topic of what sin is.  Later in the conversation, Micah commented that Jesus climbed onto the cross all by Himself.  I told her that was so true because Jesus allowed himself to be sacrificed for us.  I love having these car ride talks with her because it is amazing the insight a three-year-old can have on topics that many adults don't completely understand.

Please continue to pray for T that the Holy Spirit might move in him and he will realize that Jesus was more than a man!

John 10:17-18 The reason my Father loves me, is that I lay down my life-only to take it up again.  No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.  I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again.  This command I received from my Father.

One Week in April

Emily and I have quickly learned a hard truth spoken by a wise friend of ours.  He said something like, "When your life seems like it's falling apart around you, that's a sign that God is at work too."  Though we haven't been personally affected by the last seven days, it has affected us deeply nonetheless.  To put it bluntly, the past week was hard!

We know that God calls His children to hard things (like adoption!) so that He can show Himself mighty in them in spite of our weaknesses.  Several folks around us have shown that they know this truth as well.  I decided to tell the story of this week in my own way.

7 DAYS

 

The first day was alive,

Vigorous with worshippers, eager to thrive

On the Truth, raised from the dead

In flesh and blood, just as he said

He would.  By His temple torn

And tattered, the sons of God were born

Into eternal life.  The first day is always the beginning

Of the end of death, and the start of God’s winning

Another battle in the war that is already won,

There was evening, and there was morning.  The first day was done.

 

The second day was for Fools.

Laughter and games and smiles are tools

In the hands of friends and families, growing

Closer by every smile shot from faces showing

Slightly twisted branches, heavy with the fruit

Of love, joy, and peace.  The loot

That is plucked from such a day is neverending,

Or so it may seem when God is sending

His blessings in the packages of fun.

There was evening, and there was morning.  The second day was done.

 

The third day brought death

And an appreciation for every breath

That God gives to these shells.  I am but a vapor.

What was the good?  Why did our Father take her

Instead of an old man, or a crook, or me?

The answer lies here.  We are not meant to see

Such things in our state.  God is the one who gives

And takes and gives back.  This I know; she lives.

Our Lord gave her a race. Because of Him, she has won.

There was evening, and there was morning.  The third day was done.

 

The fourth day was dark.

The shadow of death lingered in stark

Contrast to Sunday’s light.  How would he

Make it?  How would they all see

How much she cared?  On days like this

God seems to dwell in the background, a wish

Under one’s breath for things to change.  Yet

God calls us to walk in the shadow until our needs are met.

The Lord is our shepherd.  Our needs are none.

There was evening, and there was morning.  The fourth day was done.

 

The fifth day was a promise broken

Deeds done and words spoken

Cannot be returned to hand or tongue.

And so, even God’s children can be stung

By the fall and its obligatory consequence – sin.

Does this mean that the King of the Universe can’t win

In men and wives, children and lives, or love?

Sin is a reminder.  God has made a promise above

Feelings, either good or bad.  His love cannot be undone.

There was evening, and there was morning.  The fifth day was done.

 

The sixth day brought relief

When the branches exhaled from a grief

Avoided.  My soul called to the Lord to ask,

“How many other times have you delivered me past

These petty worries and fears I wear like a beast

Of burden, with my face to the ground?”  Too often, I feast

On that which is not real bread

Partaking of the world instead

Of you, my Lord.  Lift up my head to the Son!

There was evening, and there was morning.  The sixth day was done.

 

The seventh day…rest.

Have we been cursed or blessed

By the weight of God’s hand resting on us so strong?

Teach us, O Lord! Do not tarry long

In showing us your ways - by deaths and lives.

Teach us your purpose through husbands and wives.

Sing over us the song of the redeemed

So that we might trust that when all seemed

Out of our hands, it was in Yours. Days are precious; You make each one.

There was evening, and there was morning.  The seventh day was done.

 

The first day was alive….