Another month has escaped us. We have been given 11 more situations since I last wrote and have chosen to present on 6 of those. 4 of the ones we chose to present on have come up in the past week and we are currently waiting for the birth mom to make a decision. The baby is already here on 2 of the current situations so IF we were to be chosen, I imagine we would travel immediately.
It is still hard. We go between highs, like now, where we are waiting with hope for the "yes" we have been praying for, and then we have weeks with nothing but silence and doubt if we will ever be picked by a birth mom.
Each time we are told "no" cuts a little deeper. We have had 6 so far, with a couple being especially tough because we were really drawn to the particular situation. I have given up trying to figure out maybe this one is the "one" because the circumstances fit so well. We got one of the tough "nos" last Monday morning while at work, and it made for a hard day. I considered asking our consultant to hold the "no" emails until later in the day so I wouldn't be distracted and upset at work, but I'd rather know as soon as possible than keep holding out hope we got picked. Most of the time, we end up waiting a full week or more from the time we first hear of the situation until we get a response so it is hard enough waiting those 7 days in anticipation. I am a planner by nature and initially I would spend that waiting time thinking about the "what ifs" if we were to get picked with each situation: How much advance notice are we getting? What arrangements will we need to make for our children? What kind of travel (car, airline, car rental, what airport, etc) would be involved? What about a hotel/place to stay? What will we need for this particular baby depending on size and gender (if known)? What kind of funding are we looking at needing? What will we get the birth mom? How involved will we be with the delivery? How involved does the birth family desire to be after placement? What kind of arrangements do we need to make with our jobs? I'm sure all this thinking makes me more emotionally attached so I have been trying not to think much about the situations.
We know one of our biggest disadvantages to adopting domestically is the fact that we have 3 biological children. Birth moms often want childless couples and/or infertile couples. We miss out on many situations because we have children and probably are not considered on many once the birth mom sees we have children. It is a common misconception that an adoptive family will favor biological children over adopted children--if only they knew how much was involved to be eligible to adopt and how expensive it was! I can't imagine anyone going through all this to treat the adopted child like a second class citizen!
Micah 7:7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.
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