After our "close call" in February, we were hoping to have some exciting news by now, but we do not. It has been so frustrating but so typical of our journey. First, our home study did not actually GET to FAC until March 14 (after it was signed February 24). Thanks to all the crazy winter weather that caused work and mail delays, it apparently took almost a week for our signed home study to get from Birmingham to Huntsville (to our social worker), and then it took several more days for our social worker to get it into the mail to FAC. Then, it took 6 days to get from Alabama to Georgia! I keep reminding myself that it is all in God's timing and that His timing is the only thing that could explain the delays we've been dealing with the past 2-3 months.
This month we have been presented with 5 birth mom "situations" (March 5, March 10, March 16, March 30 and March 31). 3 of the 5 were outside our parameters, and most had unusually high amounts of money "at risk" (money that we would lose if the birth mom did not choose to place her baby for adoption). None of the situations were really what we were "expecting.". I guess there is really no such thing as "typical" when you are talking about someone's life story, especially situations where a birth family is choosing adoption for their child. When we received the information about the third situation, Brad called Courtney to talk to her. She eased some of our concerns that we were not seeing anything that was within our comfort level. We asked her if our parameters are too restrictive, and she said they were not. She said she evaluates each circumstance and will send some that are outside our parameters in case God moves in us to pursue it. She said she could stop doing that, but we told her to keep sending them. We never know if God will nudge us to pursue something we originally thought was outside our comfort zone. I mean, He's been doing it for 4 years now. . . first with just the idea of adding to our family through adoption. . . .then with considering other race/ethnicities. . . .then opening up to a sibling group. . . then came the financial risk with international and now domestic adoption. He has challenged us and pressed us so much along this journey so we can never predict what will happen next!
I am pleased and excited to report that our 5th situation (which we received tonight) we decided to present on! I think maybe God was just working in us to have more faith in our call to adoption. There are so many risks, but the greatest rewards often demand higher risks. This situation met all the criteria that were most important to us and we are excited to be considered. Though we may find out this is not our baby, we have finally taken the plunge! It at least gives me hope.
Please keep praying for our family, our baby, and the birth family! Hopefully we will have a positive update soon!
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Whirlwind Weekend
We had a crazy few days. Thursday evening (Feb 19) we got an unexpected call from Courtney with FAC. She said there was a special circumstance involving a birth mother who'd delivered a baby girl a few weeks before and had chosen to parent her baby (after having picked an adoptive family prior to the birth). Now she was reconsidering adoption but was having trouble picking a family. Courtney wanted to know if she could show our profile PDF to the birth mom. It was a good situation for us because we would not have to pay anything or travel unless she picked us (because the first matched family had already paid prior to the birth). It was an African American baby girl. We agreed to present while realizing it was a long shot.
Friday evening we heard from Courtney and the birth mom had asked to speak with us and 2 other families on the phone the next morning. We were in Birmingham for the Mercedes Kids Marathon and the call was scheduled for right before we needed to head out to the race. Courtney called us ahead of time to answer some questions and give us some tips for the call. Brad and I prayed for the entire situation before the phone rang.
The call itself went well. The birth mom had some questions for us, primarily about how we would handle raising a black child in a white family. I guess she was satisfied with our answer because after calling Courtney from the car on the way to the race, we got a text a few minutes later that the birth mom really liked us! Later that day, we found out that she had spoken to 2 other families after us and liked both of them as well. We were asked to have another call with the birth mom the following morning. We decided to head home for the call because if she picked us, we would need to be prepared to travel within a day or so.
We got home midmorning and rushed around picking up the house and getting set up for our call. Nothing about the adoption came up in this call, but I was writing down every tidbit of information that she revealed to us in case she picked us. I wanted to know as much as I could about her to tell her/our daughter one day.
Over the next couple days, the birth mom still had not made a decision. We found out some other information that had us concerned that this birth mom really did not want to place her daughter for adoption. That information combined with her continuous delays and inability to "choose" between us and another family and some scheduling problems resulted in us asking Courtney if we could withdraw from this situation. It was hard but we felt this was the right thing to do. We have not gotten any specific information since that time about this situation, but we think that the birth mom still has not signed consent for adoption.
We did get all our paperwork sent to Courtney except our children's medical and our home study, which SHOULD get there in the upcoming week. We found out there was one additional clearance required by Alabama for ICPC that we had not completed yet. In the middle of doing all this we had some crazy weather that brought snow and missed school days.
Courtney said she would start presenting us when she got our final documents. It was a crazy stressful whirlwind few days, but it did help us to get prepared when it finally does happen for us. Hopefully March will be an exciting month for us!
Friday evening we heard from Courtney and the birth mom had asked to speak with us and 2 other families on the phone the next morning. We were in Birmingham for the Mercedes Kids Marathon and the call was scheduled for right before we needed to head out to the race. Courtney called us ahead of time to answer some questions and give us some tips for the call. Brad and I prayed for the entire situation before the phone rang.
The call itself went well. The birth mom had some questions for us, primarily about how we would handle raising a black child in a white family. I guess she was satisfied with our answer because after calling Courtney from the car on the way to the race, we got a text a few minutes later that the birth mom really liked us! Later that day, we found out that she had spoken to 2 other families after us and liked both of them as well. We were asked to have another call with the birth mom the following morning. We decided to head home for the call because if she picked us, we would need to be prepared to travel within a day or so.
We got home midmorning and rushed around picking up the house and getting set up for our call. Nothing about the adoption came up in this call, but I was writing down every tidbit of information that she revealed to us in case she picked us. I wanted to know as much as I could about her to tell her/our daughter one day.
Over the next couple days, the birth mom still had not made a decision. We found out some other information that had us concerned that this birth mom really did not want to place her daughter for adoption. That information combined with her continuous delays and inability to "choose" between us and another family and some scheduling problems resulted in us asking Courtney if we could withdraw from this situation. It was hard but we felt this was the right thing to do. We have not gotten any specific information since that time about this situation, but we think that the birth mom still has not signed consent for adoption.
We did get all our paperwork sent to Courtney except our children's medical and our home study, which SHOULD get there in the upcoming week. We found out there was one additional clearance required by Alabama for ICPC that we had not completed yet. In the middle of doing all this we had some crazy weather that brought snow and missed school days.
Courtney said she would start presenting us when she got our final documents. It was a crazy stressful whirlwind few days, but it did help us to get prepared when it finally does happen for us. Hopefully March will be an exciting month for us!
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
February 2015 update
I wish I could say we have moved on to the next phase by now, but the past month has been very frustrating. I never imagined we would be midway into February and still just waiting on our paperwork to move forward. Then again, how many times during our adoption process have we found ourselves waiting longer than expected? It is almost comical at this point, yet I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Since last month, we have finally completed our profile book after making a few suggested cosmetic changes, namely to make the background of the pages more "colorful and adventurous." Brad got a kick out of that suggestion and used it in a Valentine surprise for me:
Our profile is being printed into books that will be shown to potential birth moms, and I got the shipping notice on the books today.
We have not seen our home study yet because we have been waiting on our fingerprint clearances to come back. For the past month we have been trying not to nag our social worker too much about the delay and if there is a way to confirm everything is okay (as in it was received and is being processed). I had this fear that it was never sent or received and all this waiting will have been in vain. Last Friday (the 13th) Brad called DHR in Montgomery to ask them about it and they said something to him about it being sent to our county of origin. We were originally fingerprinted at the local DHR for foster care. So he called them but the person who answered was new and all he got out of that conversation was that Lifeline was not a vendor in their system. We also spoke with our social worker and another person at Lifeline who handles the clearances and we really didn't know what to make of this. Apparently this is not typical--of course. Yesterday was President's Day so DHR was closed. A friend spoke with a social worker at DHR (who maybe remembered us from foster care), and we were instructed to call her when DHR opened today to see what she could do. Brad called and she said she could easily get us the "Letter of Suitability." We weren't positive that's what we needed so he called our social worker and asked that she call DHR. Well, praise the Lord that is what we needed! I was working through lunch and answered a call at our office number from a friend and former coworker who now works at DHR and she said "I have your letters. You can come by and pick them up. I wish you'd told me sooner that you needed this because I could have done it for you." I'm hoping that one day we will see God's timing and sovereignty in this 2.5 month long wait for a letter we could have probably gotten 2 months ago if we'd known who to call.
The next step is simply to review our home study for any corrections and then just wait for our social worker to mail us notarized originals. She also has 1 other piece of paperwork we need. Once we have those items in our hands and our profile books, we will be mailing a large packet of documents to FAC and hopefully be able to start presenting to birth moms! It is finally starting to feel real!
There are a lot of babies coming on my side of the family in the upcoming weeks. I had a cousin have a baby boy earlier in February, a niece due in March, and another cousin expecting a baby boy in April. Here's to hoping little baby Bernard will arrive in May. :)
Since last month, we have finally completed our profile book after making a few suggested cosmetic changes, namely to make the background of the pages more "colorful and adventurous." Brad got a kick out of that suggestion and used it in a Valentine surprise for me:
Our profile is being printed into books that will be shown to potential birth moms, and I got the shipping notice on the books today.
We have not seen our home study yet because we have been waiting on our fingerprint clearances to come back. For the past month we have been trying not to nag our social worker too much about the delay and if there is a way to confirm everything is okay (as in it was received and is being processed). I had this fear that it was never sent or received and all this waiting will have been in vain. Last Friday (the 13th) Brad called DHR in Montgomery to ask them about it and they said something to him about it being sent to our county of origin. We were originally fingerprinted at the local DHR for foster care. So he called them but the person who answered was new and all he got out of that conversation was that Lifeline was not a vendor in their system. We also spoke with our social worker and another person at Lifeline who handles the clearances and we really didn't know what to make of this. Apparently this is not typical--of course. Yesterday was President's Day so DHR was closed. A friend spoke with a social worker at DHR (who maybe remembered us from foster care), and we were instructed to call her when DHR opened today to see what she could do. Brad called and she said she could easily get us the "Letter of Suitability." We weren't positive that's what we needed so he called our social worker and asked that she call DHR. Well, praise the Lord that is what we needed! I was working through lunch and answered a call at our office number from a friend and former coworker who now works at DHR and she said "I have your letters. You can come by and pick them up. I wish you'd told me sooner that you needed this because I could have done it for you." I'm hoping that one day we will see God's timing and sovereignty in this 2.5 month long wait for a letter we could have probably gotten 2 months ago if we'd known who to call.
The next step is simply to review our home study for any corrections and then just wait for our social worker to mail us notarized originals. She also has 1 other piece of paperwork we need. Once we have those items in our hands and our profile books, we will be mailing a large packet of documents to FAC and hopefully be able to start presenting to birth moms! It is finally starting to feel real!
There are a lot of babies coming on my side of the family in the upcoming weeks. I had a cousin have a baby boy earlier in February, a niece due in March, and another cousin expecting a baby boy in April. Here's to hoping little baby Bernard will arrive in May. :)
Sunday, January 18, 2015
January 2015 Update
We got a little behind schedule due to the holidays. Our hope was to have all our paperwork completed and ready so we could "go live" presenting our profile at the beginning of January. We are now over halfway through the month, and we STILL do not have our home study update completed due to our clearances (FBI fingerprinting and Child Abuse & Neglect) not being back yet. We think they were sent off in early December, so I guess the holiday closings are making things run slower than usual. This is at least the third time we've had these clearances done, so I don't know why it would take so long, but either way, we have not seen our home study update as a result. Once those come back our social worker will send us a draft of our home study for corrections. Then we will pay the fees for the update and the home study will be notarized and mailed out. Our social worker has several other documents that we need from her to send to our consultants, so the whole process will take a good 2 weeks once our clearances are back.
We are almost done with our profile book. A friend and coworker of Brad's has been doing the computer graphics for us and she is doing a great job! We hope to be able to send a PDF of our profile to FAC the end of this week for them to review. Maybe we will get lucky and there won't be any major changes. Once we get the go ahead on our profile, we will have to get several copies printed up and mailed to FAC. That could easily take a couple weeks as well.
Best case scenario we are looking at early February before we are ready to present. We have to mail all our documents to FAC in one package, but we have scanned all the documents we have so far to them. I man getting anxious to have this phase of the adoption completed. The paperwork stage is ALL we've ever done (3 times) and it really sucks. There is no gratification in it except being done! Hopefully we'll have some progress to report in February. . .
We are almost done with our profile book. A friend and coworker of Brad's has been doing the computer graphics for us and she is doing a great job! We hope to be able to send a PDF of our profile to FAC the end of this week for them to review. Maybe we will get lucky and there won't be any major changes. Once we get the go ahead on our profile, we will have to get several copies printed up and mailed to FAC. That could easily take a couple weeks as well.
Best case scenario we are looking at early February before we are ready to present. We have to mail all our documents to FAC in one package, but we have scanned all the documents we have so far to them. I man getting anxious to have this phase of the adoption completed. The paperwork stage is ALL we've ever done (3 times) and it really sucks. There is no gratification in it except being done! Hopefully we'll have some progress to report in February. . .
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
December 2014 Update
Brad and I have been busy the past month gathering the required information for our domestic adoption. It is all stuff we've done before but in the world of adoption, anything with a date on it has to be updated yearly, especially if your adoption plans change. We have gotten new copies of our driver's licenses and insurance cards. We realized we couldn't find our Social Security cards (likely lost in some adoption-related paperwork) so we got to go sit at the local Social Security office one day during lunch to request new cards. We had to get new original copies of our birth certificates and marriage licenses. We had to go to the police station for new letters stating we are not local hooligans. We had to request yet again that 5 of our friends and family members write us letters of recommendation. We had to get updated employment verifications, W2s and 1040s. This week we went on Tuesday for our labs and then back on Thursday for our medicals (physicals). We had to explain to our doctors that we realized there was no medically necessary reason for us to be tested (yet again) for TB, HIV, syphilis, and diabetes (A1C test), but it was required on the form. We've done 10 hours of online training for domestic adoption and completed various questionnaires about transracial and biracial adoption and how we will integrate our child's heritage into our lives. We've also completed 5 adoption agency applications, each slightly different and some with their own set of questions. We've taken some casual updated family photos and written rough drafts of our "Dear Birth Mother letter" and information pages for our profile book. We've selected potential photos for our profile and come up with a general "design" plan.
So what is left? We are waiting for our FBI and Child Abuse clearances to come back. Hopefully, then our home study will be completed and we can review it and get copies of it.
We also have to scan all the paperwork to FAC, including the adoption agency applications. We have to make our profile book and then get copies of it printed.
I am relieved to know we are done for now with the paperwork aspect and can focus on our profile book. It has been so hard to do all this in December with all the added busyness of the holiday season (and Brandon's birthday thrown in). Hopefully, we will be ready to start presenting our profile sometime in January.
I am trying to watch out for good deals on baby items we would need immediately. We bought an infant car seat, but there are a lot of items we will need to wait on, especially gender-specific things. We have started trying to narrow down our potential baby names. There is a chance we could get basically no notice if we get picked by a birth mom who has already delivered, so we are just trying to prepare for anything.
We are getting excited that we will have a new little one(s) in our arms soon!
So what is left? We are waiting for our FBI and Child Abuse clearances to come back. Hopefully, then our home study will be completed and we can review it and get copies of it.
We also have to scan all the paperwork to FAC, including the adoption agency applications. We have to make our profile book and then get copies of it printed.
I am relieved to know we are done for now with the paperwork aspect and can focus on our profile book. It has been so hard to do all this in December with all the added busyness of the holiday season (and Brandon's birthday thrown in). Hopefully, we will be ready to start presenting our profile sometime in January.
I am trying to watch out for good deals on baby items we would need immediately. We bought an infant car seat, but there are a lot of items we will need to wait on, especially gender-specific things. We have started trying to narrow down our potential baby names. There is a chance we could get basically no notice if we get picked by a birth mom who has already delivered, so we are just trying to prepare for anything.
We are getting excited that we will have a new little one(s) in our arms soon!
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Change
Change in life is inevitable. Often it is a good thing, but sometimes it is not. One thing we have learned on our adoption journey the past few years, is that adoption is full of the unexpected. We have sort of learned to "roll with the punches," not because we always like it, but because it just happens so often. Adoption is messy and heart-breaking and hard. . . even in the best of circumstances.
A year ago in August, I had a "vision" that something was "beginning" and that another significant event was going to happen in November 2014 (15 months later). At the time, I thought maybe it meant we would get our referral, so I have prayed and held on to this month for over a year with hope. Things didn't exactly turn out as I had prayed. What I do know is that last August, Ethiopia was implementing new policies to make adoptions more ethical. These changes have caused a dramatic slow down in referrals to the point that our agency can no longer even guess how long our wait might be. At the rate of referrals over the past year, we could be looking at MANY years of waiting. The past couple months each bit of news we received has been less and less encouraging to the point that it led Brad and I to reevaluate our adoption plans. Our biggest fear (besides waiting for years, which we've already been doing), is that the program could collapse completely before we ever got to bring our kids home. Eighteen months ago, no one would have foreseen that possibility, but now it doesn't seem so impossible. If adoption is anything, it is full of risk and uncertainty. Each type of adoption has its own risks, and that was something we considered when first attempting to adopt a waiting child in foster care and then with international adoption. We started with what we considered the least risky form and were unsuccessful. Apparently for our family, God really wanted us out of our comfort zone, which we have gradually been moving from since we began in 2011.
Earlier this year, I met another adoptive mother at an adoption conference who was also on the waiting list to adopt from Ethiopia. She was starting the process of a concurrent domestic adoption using Faithful Adoption Consultants (FAC) while they waited on a referral from Ethiopia. The next thing I knew, her family was bringing home their beautiful newborn baby girl. I started following FAC on Facebook and was impressed by what I saw. They are a small Christian company that networks with adoption agencies and attorneys around the country. They work only in states where the birth mother signs consent within 72 hours, and they screen each situation to determine the risks. FAC prays constantly for their families, the birth moms, and the children. They have had 100% success in their families bringing home a child within the year contract. This fall I noticed they posted they were taking applications for the upcoming year. In early October, they had 2 slots remaining. Midway through the month I contacted the woman I knew who'd used FAC to find out more about her experience. After hearing her input and more prayer, Brad and I decided to send them an inquiry email, and we got a response the next day. A few days later, we spoke with Courtney, the owner of the company. We were very encouraged when we learned how FAC helps adoptive families find placements and advises them throughout the process.
Brad and I prayed and talked some more and decided to submit an application to FAC. They only work with a certain number of families at a time, so once they have filled their quota, any remaining families get put on a waiting list. I figured that we would be waiting due to the time that had passed since they started filling their list for 2015. We submitted our application and letter of recommendation from our pastor on November 6. Over the weekend, I prayed that God would make His will clear. If we were to stay with Ethiopia, let us not be accepted into FAC's program or at least put us on the waiting list. On November 10, we received an email of acceptance into their program. Immediately after that email, we received an email from our Ethiopian adoption agency with more bad news. That was our "sign" from God.
What happens now? We have to update our home study for a domestic adoption. We were due for an update anyway, so hopefully this will not be a huge ordeal. Lifeline, the agency who did our home study for Ethiopia, will be doing this for us. We also have to prepare a profile book about our family that will be shown to birth moms. We are on yet another "paper chase" for original birth certificates, marriage licenses, letters of recommendation, and various clearances. We also have to get new medical physicals.
The plan at this point is to "go live" with our profile at the beginning of the year (or as soon as we can get all our documents together). Hopefully within a few months (or even days/weeks which is not unusual for some FAC families), we will have our newest addition. Domestic for us is by far the riskiest form of adoption in terms of the chances of a failed match and the financial requirements. Maybe this was God's will all along and He just knew we weren't ready (or desperate enough) for that plan 3.5 years ago. And He is right. We had quickly nixed the idea of a domestic adoption in the past due to the risk and our lack of knowledge about the process. Even when we are matched with a birth mom, she can change her mind at any point up until she signs those legal documents. We can't plan too much for the baby we are expecting until we know for sure that the birth mom will stick with her decision to place her precious child for adoption. I cannot imagine how difficult such a decision would have to be for a mother.
We do know we will not be adopting in Alabama (due to AL's adoption laws). Because we will be out of state, we will not be able to bring our baby home for 1-3 weeks until the legal paperwork comes through allowing us to leave the state.
I am SO weary of the paperwork, questionnaires, requirements and the waiting. Literally, when I saw the required items needed for FAC and then the items needed by Lifeline (many of which were identical), THIS is what immediately went through my mind:
"Worn" by Tenth Avenue North
A year ago in August, I had a "vision" that something was "beginning" and that another significant event was going to happen in November 2014 (15 months later). At the time, I thought maybe it meant we would get our referral, so I have prayed and held on to this month for over a year with hope. Things didn't exactly turn out as I had prayed. What I do know is that last August, Ethiopia was implementing new policies to make adoptions more ethical. These changes have caused a dramatic slow down in referrals to the point that our agency can no longer even guess how long our wait might be. At the rate of referrals over the past year, we could be looking at MANY years of waiting. The past couple months each bit of news we received has been less and less encouraging to the point that it led Brad and I to reevaluate our adoption plans. Our biggest fear (besides waiting for years, which we've already been doing), is that the program could collapse completely before we ever got to bring our kids home. Eighteen months ago, no one would have foreseen that possibility, but now it doesn't seem so impossible. If adoption is anything, it is full of risk and uncertainty. Each type of adoption has its own risks, and that was something we considered when first attempting to adopt a waiting child in foster care and then with international adoption. We started with what we considered the least risky form and were unsuccessful. Apparently for our family, God really wanted us out of our comfort zone, which we have gradually been moving from since we began in 2011.
Earlier this year, I met another adoptive mother at an adoption conference who was also on the waiting list to adopt from Ethiopia. She was starting the process of a concurrent domestic adoption using Faithful Adoption Consultants (FAC) while they waited on a referral from Ethiopia. The next thing I knew, her family was bringing home their beautiful newborn baby girl. I started following FAC on Facebook and was impressed by what I saw. They are a small Christian company that networks with adoption agencies and attorneys around the country. They work only in states where the birth mother signs consent within 72 hours, and they screen each situation to determine the risks. FAC prays constantly for their families, the birth moms, and the children. They have had 100% success in their families bringing home a child within the year contract. This fall I noticed they posted they were taking applications for the upcoming year. In early October, they had 2 slots remaining. Midway through the month I contacted the woman I knew who'd used FAC to find out more about her experience. After hearing her input and more prayer, Brad and I decided to send them an inquiry email, and we got a response the next day. A few days later, we spoke with Courtney, the owner of the company. We were very encouraged when we learned how FAC helps adoptive families find placements and advises them throughout the process.
Brad and I prayed and talked some more and decided to submit an application to FAC. They only work with a certain number of families at a time, so once they have filled their quota, any remaining families get put on a waiting list. I figured that we would be waiting due to the time that had passed since they started filling their list for 2015. We submitted our application and letter of recommendation from our pastor on November 6. Over the weekend, I prayed that God would make His will clear. If we were to stay with Ethiopia, let us not be accepted into FAC's program or at least put us on the waiting list. On November 10, we received an email of acceptance into their program. Immediately after that email, we received an email from our Ethiopian adoption agency with more bad news. That was our "sign" from God.
What happens now? We have to update our home study for a domestic adoption. We were due for an update anyway, so hopefully this will not be a huge ordeal. Lifeline, the agency who did our home study for Ethiopia, will be doing this for us. We also have to prepare a profile book about our family that will be shown to birth moms. We are on yet another "paper chase" for original birth certificates, marriage licenses, letters of recommendation, and various clearances. We also have to get new medical physicals.
The plan at this point is to "go live" with our profile at the beginning of the year (or as soon as we can get all our documents together). Hopefully within a few months (or even days/weeks which is not unusual for some FAC families), we will have our newest addition. Domestic for us is by far the riskiest form of adoption in terms of the chances of a failed match and the financial requirements. Maybe this was God's will all along and He just knew we weren't ready (or desperate enough) for that plan 3.5 years ago. And He is right. We had quickly nixed the idea of a domestic adoption in the past due to the risk and our lack of knowledge about the process. Even when we are matched with a birth mom, she can change her mind at any point up until she signs those legal documents. We can't plan too much for the baby we are expecting until we know for sure that the birth mom will stick with her decision to place her precious child for adoption. I cannot imagine how difficult such a decision would have to be for a mother.
We do know we will not be adopting in Alabama (due to AL's adoption laws). Because we will be out of state, we will not be able to bring our baby home for 1-3 weeks until the legal paperwork comes through allowing us to leave the state.
I am SO weary of the paperwork, questionnaires, requirements and the waiting. Literally, when I saw the required items needed for FAC and then the items needed by Lifeline (many of which were identical), THIS is what immediately went through my mind:
"Worn" by Tenth Avenue North
I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn
I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn
My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
So, heaven come and flood my eyes
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn
Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn
I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn
My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
So, heaven come and flood my eyes
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn
Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn
I know that IF this ever ends, the struggle will totally be worth it in the end. We are so excited to bring home a baby (or two)! Please pray with us that we will finally complete our adoption in 2015!
Monday, November 3, 2014
November 2014 Update
Things have been tough the past few weeks, or months really. There have been no referrals we are aware of since early August. Our waiting list number has not changed since September. Our agency director made a trip to Ethiopia about a month ago and the report he made after the trip was discouraging, though not necessarily surprising. Basically, the slowdown in referrals since new policies were implemented a year ago is the new norm. Ethiopia is a third world country, so obviously underfunded, understaffed, under-everything that is needed to make adoption for orphans a smooth, relatively quick process. Brad and I have been on the waiting list for a year this month. The timeline we were originally given is totally out the window and at the rate things are going now, it is potentially years more of waiting before we could get a referral. The scary thing is that there is no guarantee Ethiopia (or any foreign country) will still have an international program next year so the prospect of waiting several years is risky, to say the least. Most of the progress we made on the waiting list the past year was really due to families ahead of us on the list dropping out.
That being said, Brad and I have some decisions to make. We have been praying for discernment in this area. Do we stay with Ethiopia for the long haul, no matter how long it takes, or do we consider other options? Our agency reminded us that we can switch to another one of their programs without losing any of the money we have paid in so far. That doesn't mean there wouldn't be any additional expenses, but it wouldn't be the same as starting over completely. We did our "free" update on our fingerprints for international adoption in September (they expire every 15 months) and we are due to an immigration update before March of 2015. This is our other "free" update that must be done every 18 months. Brad and I realize that with the immigration update, we are going to have to update our home study anyway (which is very specific to the type of adoption we are doing), so that would be a good time to make a change, should that be the direction we choose. The home study update will have fees associated with it regardless of what we decide.
Please continue to pray for our family. We still very much feel called to adopt. This isn't just Brad and I casually deciding we want to have more kids or feeling pity for orphans. It is a direct call by God on our lives. It is honestly a call on all our lives to "care for orphans and widows in their distress.". It doesn't mean everyone is called to adopt but all Christians are called to orphan care. It IS the gospel. We didn't choose this necessarily but are joyfully pursuing it (though there is not always joy in the process). We don't know why we have had so many roadblocks and definitely the tendency is to question "why?" but no good will come from that. We have invested a lot of prayer, time, money, and heartache into this, but wouldn't you do it over and over again for your children? Micah still prays every night for her "baby brother or sister" and she now also prays for all the people who are "sick and hurt" here and in Ethiopia.
As always, please keep in mind that our adoption information needs to remain confidential so as to not jeopardize the adoption process for everyone. We anticipate having some news by next month or two about what the future holds for our adoption plans.
That being said, Brad and I have some decisions to make. We have been praying for discernment in this area. Do we stay with Ethiopia for the long haul, no matter how long it takes, or do we consider other options? Our agency reminded us that we can switch to another one of their programs without losing any of the money we have paid in so far. That doesn't mean there wouldn't be any additional expenses, but it wouldn't be the same as starting over completely. We did our "free" update on our fingerprints for international adoption in September (they expire every 15 months) and we are due to an immigration update before March of 2015. This is our other "free" update that must be done every 18 months. Brad and I realize that with the immigration update, we are going to have to update our home study anyway (which is very specific to the type of adoption we are doing), so that would be a good time to make a change, should that be the direction we choose. The home study update will have fees associated with it regardless of what we decide.
Please continue to pray for our family. We still very much feel called to adopt. This isn't just Brad and I casually deciding we want to have more kids or feeling pity for orphans. It is a direct call by God on our lives. It is honestly a call on all our lives to "care for orphans and widows in their distress.". It doesn't mean everyone is called to adopt but all Christians are called to orphan care. It IS the gospel. We didn't choose this necessarily but are joyfully pursuing it (though there is not always joy in the process). We don't know why we have had so many roadblocks and definitely the tendency is to question "why?" but no good will come from that. We have invested a lot of prayer, time, money, and heartache into this, but wouldn't you do it over and over again for your children? Micah still prays every night for her "baby brother or sister" and she now also prays for all the people who are "sick and hurt" here and in Ethiopia.
As always, please keep in mind that our adoption information needs to remain confidential so as to not jeopardize the adoption process for everyone. We anticipate having some news by next month or two about what the future holds for our adoption plans.
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